I love my parents. I still talk to them a couple times a month or so, and see them several times a year. They both had very difficult childhoods in their own right. Unfortunately I don’t feel like I know a whole lot about my family backgrounds.. especially my dad’s. I know that they both had issues that were never acknowledged or addressed. I know that I come from a long history of mental illness, abuse and addiction. I know that I am doing everything that I can to break that cycle. My parents have both changed quite a bit over the years. As I imagine everyone does. Without intention those changes are mostly negative. With that in mind, I absolutely have to give my parents credit. In the recent years have been making positive changes each in their own way.
Writing about the pain in my childhood is difficult for me in multiple ways, one of which is the possibility of hurting my parents. I have shared some of my feelings about childhood with them, but I can’t help but imagine them being hurt by seeing their failures shared with the world. So the only thing I can do is acknowledge. I know that they tried. They did the best that they could with what they had been given and I am doing my best to forgive what they couldn’t.
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